I am not married. I live with my partner and our daughter. We have been living happily together for 10 years and counting. I can’t fathom a single benefit to getting married.
I have always been strongly against marriage for several reasons.
I find it an incredibly degrading and demeaning concept especially for women. I know some women who will state “the day they got married” as the best day of their lives or their greatest accomplishment??
How poor does your life have to be for this to be the best day of your life or your greatest accomplishment? The day a man decides you are good enough for him! How low has the female sex sunk that this is what you dream about as you grow up.
To be fair it’s not even women’s fault. You have it drummed into you from birth through media, friends, parents – everyone. Your Mum will tell you that the best day of her life was “When she got married to your Dad”. Your Auntie will tell you the same thing as will your Grandmother.
Let’s look at the concept – two otherwise sane people decide to enter into a legal contract to stay together forever. They pay handsomely for this privilege. Why? Why legally bind yourself to someone. If my partner didn’t want to be with me I would want her to leave. Am I so insecure and scared of the social stigma of being single that I’d prefer someone to stay with me who didn’t want to be with me. If I didn’t want to be with her she would want me to leave. She wouldn’t want to waste her time living with someone who didn’t want to be with her.
You only have one life. I dread to think of the number of people who have lived horrible lives together hating each other every minute – and all for what?
Then of course it’s not really an absolute contract anyway is it? No, because you can simply bankrupt yourself out of it at a later date after you’ve become so horribly twisted and bitter at each other that any semblance of normal social contact is impossible and your kids are all in rehab.
Why not simply just be together for as long as you enjoy each others company?
Some will argue that not being married makes it too easy to leave. So what! I don’t pick up and leave every time I have an argument with my partner- and we’ve had our share. No, we discuss our differences like normal human beings and then we agree that she was right all along 😉 But seriously if I genuinely didn’t like being with her I would leave, and vice versa, and we would remain good friends and our daughter would have two loving parents.
I fail to find a single good thing to say about marriage – get rid of it – grow up dreaming of the day you get your degree, or pass your builders apprenticeship, or become a Doctor, or adopt a child in need, or something …. anything which demonstrates an actual achievement.